The Daddy Diary 8 results

Move over Pinocchio, this new Daddy’s got strings

Daddy Diary #8: The Puppetry of Parenting What does a puppet parent looks like? Imagine a new form of entertainment if choreographed by a drunk, one-legged Danny Kaye and a zombie cheerleader. By Chris Lackner “I've got no strings so I have fun, I'm not tied to anyone. How I love my liberty, there are no strings on me!”Sure, Pinocchio made those words famous. But they also describe my motto before becoming a first-time, 37-year-old father. For the last 10 years, I have enjoyed a rare combination: disposable income and disposable time.  With apologies to Walt Disney, I’d add an extra verse or two to my own song (e.g. “I’ve got no strings, so I drink beer. If I sleep in, I’m in the clear. How I love my drinks sudsy, there are no strings on me!”) As the father of a five-month old, I now have a different kind of fun… but the puppet strings are both many and unbreakable. Mommy and Daddy often feel like puppets – our daughter a mad-cap, unpredictable puppeteer...

Mom is the Flash, Dad is the Slow

Daddy Diary: Part Seven Faster than an unfired bullet: A first-time father discovers his superpower has nothing to do with speed, and everything to do with slowing down to a snail's pace By Chris Lackner “This is a job for… The Slow.”That’s my superhero name at home these days — prompted by my less-than lightning flash responses to my newborn daughter’s needs.Mom may be The Flash, but dad is decidedly less so. “Faster than an unfired bullet. More powerful than your average eight-year-old. Able to leap tall stuffed animals in a single bound (on his good days). He is… The Slow.”Is Dad on diaper duty? Triple or quadruple the time required to complete the task. Is Dad sent to find some kind of baby item — cloth, blanket, toy, cream, soother etc.? Don’t wait up for him; he’ll be back before dawn.It’s not that I decided to become The Slow. No superhero chooses their destiny – their destiny is thrust upon them. With great power comes great responsibility ...

The Lioness doesn’t sleep tonight

The Daddy Diary: Part Six A first-time father faces the surreal and sometimes lonely experience of looking in from the outside with a tender heart full of slumber-inducing song By Chris Lackner "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight."Good for him. In my "jungle" — AKA house — there isn't much sleeping going on (especially for mom). Such is the life of newbie parents. Our little lioness has a mighty roar — mightiest after the sun goes down.Our girl’s hunger — and gas-fueled bellow — is only satiated by two things: breast milk and songs (with musical numbers finishing a distant, distant second).Our baby instinctively knows how to lay in wait and then pounce on her parental prey when we are at our most vulnerable. Is dad trying to watch the ninth-inning drama of a playoff race? Yup. Cue the crying. Are mom and dad trying for the 15th time that night to stream more than three minutes in a row of one TV episode? Yup. Cue our mighty hunter ...

Journalist takes Labour Day weekend literally

The Daddy Diary: Labour with help from Jack Bauer An expecting first-time father channels the spirit of a super agent as he faces the unknown, an earful of Portuguese expletives and the beautiful face of a brand new baby girl By Chris Lackner 1:30 a.m. A gentle voice. "Wake up, babe. My water just broke. She's coming."Two minutes of unintelligible, groggy mumbling, and then: "Are you sure it isn't one of those fake things? You know, Higgs boson... or whatever its called?"Sigh. "Higgs boson is a particle (my wife is a scientist). Braxton Hicks are fake contractions... (again gently) there's no such thing as fake water breaking.""Oh." The panic sets in, and I immediately forget everything I learned in our prenatal class. I silently (for fear of being slapped) ask myself one thing: "How would Jack Bauer handle this?" 1:45 We're desperately gathering everything on our hospital checklist at the front door. From clothes to food, and Gatorade to diapers. The baby is two ...

What’s in a baby name? Hopes, dreams, history… guilt

The Daddy Diary: Part Four - The Name Game An expecting father navigates the dangerous waters of choosing a baby name that works in English and Portuguese -- and isn't associated with pole dancing 

Parental Mental Training Begins

The Daddy Diary: Part 3 When you feel that baby kung-fu kicking, fatherhood suddenly feels concrete and you realize that a tiny little person will see you as their Mr. Miyagi “Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important.” – Mr. Miyagi, Karate Kid (1984) By Chris Lackner Our baby is going to be a karate kid or, better yet, a ninja.With the amount of kicking going on in mom’s belly these days, it’s either ninja or international soccer star – which would certainly make the baby’s Brazilian grandparents happy. (I’d like to think our child will dream big, and become the world’s first double threat: a ninja footballer).While I’ve always wanted to raise a little Zen warrior (mainly for all the money I’d save on home security… but also for the free car waxing), this third trimester kicking phase is an important one for all dads-to-be. It’s the first time fatherhood feels concrete – more than an abstract concept. It’s a period where ...

What’s sex got to do with it?

The Daddy Diary: Part 2 When your wife is a grown-up tomboy and your first toy was a doll, discovering the gender of your new baby doesn't change much - not even the colour of the nursery By Chris Lackner “Girls will be boys and boys will be girls, it’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world.” Sure, The Kinks’ Ray Davies didn’t have parenting in mind when he wrote those lyrics, but they apply just the same.Boy or girl? We’ve decided to find out what the stork is bringing (That is how babies are still delivered, right? I haven’t been to a prenatal class yet.). An ultrasound will soon tell us whether our family addition will be a “daddy’s girl” or a “mamma’s boy.”For many couples, this big reveal shapes plans for the nursery, but it really won’t change the way we prepare for parenthood. We don’t plan on painting the baby’s bedroom blue or pink, or stocking up on toy trucks verses dolls. In fact, I’m pretty sure my wife is going to instigate an ...

Preparing for Parenthood

The Daddy Diary Part 1 – The NeverEnding Story A veteran journalist tackles his hardest assignment yet: parenthood. A long-time fatherhood fence sitter, he takes his inspiration from a family of storytellers - not to mention the adventures of a boy and his dragon.